I know the Terrible Twos are so-named for a reason, but sometimes I wonder if Boss's behavior pushes the boundaries into the farmost depths of, say, Ffarquhar Quarry. Is he a normal rambunctious boy simply testing his limits, or did we end up with a Macaulay Culkin from "The Good Son"?
As I write this, Boss is protesting his nap, banging his feet against the back of his crib and growling rather loudly in his devil voice. I can't make out what he's saying because earlier today he chucked the monitor over the balcony, and it no longer appears to be working. This morning, he also had two time-outs before 8:30 for the usual--smash 'n bash sessions with the brother. We were not off to a good start.
A few hours of survival later we headed off to see gramma, paw-paw and Aunt K. When we arrived, I brought him inside the house, went back to the car to get Stinker, and held my breath. There was a good chance he'd greet the family with tears, while zooming around yelling, "Wheeeeeerrrre's Mommmmmy?"
But instead, he slipped into Dr. Sparkle mode. He issued hugs, entertained everyone with stiff-legged dancing, and said "please/dank you/'scuse me." He flaunted his knowledge of scarecrows and seeds (Thanks "Caillou"!), kept vehicles out of his food, even ate some food, and showed off the world's greatest dimples with a semi-constant smile. He stayed off of his brother (for the most part), AND he actually coughed into his ELBOW--a milestone I've only preached but never, until this day, witnessed! I adore this sweet, kissable cherub!
Plus, bonus: I'm looking kinda good as a mom. It's a wonderful day! The world is fabulous! Maybe I'll even go to church sometime!
We pack up before the spell breaks and head home. I drive grinning, not speeding for a change, and relive a few of the day's scenes in my head. As we meander along, I point out a variety of trucks to Boss. He stares out the window and drops his juice cup. I reach behind the passenger seat, pick it up and two seconds later it flies out of his hand; I give him a cup from the front seat instead. "NAAAAAAOOOOOHHHHH!," he screams.
Dr. Sparkle has left the premises.
Then within a few minutes, Boss is looking at his brother, shrieking mischievously and laughing. Shriek, laugh, shriek, laugh, shriek, laugh. Stinker cries. Shriek, laugh, Stinker cries, mom yells; shriek, laugh, Stinker cries, mom yells. Sigh, mumble-curse, sigh.
The good news, though? Along with having a great afternoon, I'm (more) convinced that Boss is normal. He can behave outside of the house! Hell, he can even exude some charm (especially if he's competing with his brother for attention). Granted, it's Human Behavior 101--but he passed the test.
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